Regardless of religious beliefs, all one has left when they leave this Earth is the meaning the individual has derived from building connections and relationships with other people. I propose whether or not one is able to reach his or her potential and the quality of life that follows is based inherently in the following question: How will you manifest your truth into reality, thus becoming the best at your profession or craft, and spreading your gifts to help the lives of others? The answer to this question, and ultimately the key to leading the best life available is in the equation: vulnerability through playfulness and connection instigates happiness, which results in spreading positivity and facilitating the ability to make fearless decisions that guides one's life as an artist or profession of one's choosing, leading one to their highest potential. This theory applies to everyone and does not discriminate. This is the beginning of a life-long exploration and discovery with these elements as I further my work as an artist, and I will explore these themes from my exposure to the Balinese people and culture, our theatre workshops and experiences there, and through additional inspiration and research. The workshop and clowning in Bali training helped form the theory I have proposed, and further introduced a different approach to acting that I utilize in my own work that incorporates taksu: an achievable state of being that is unanimously understood by the Balinese that influences and shapes how they approach life, work, and each other that I discuss more extensively in my work. I will continue to inquire about how one finds space for imagination and pursuit of taksu without traveling, although traveling is an amazing way to broaden one's scope of perspective. The combination of elements discussed and taksu help create a humanity that is more in touch with inner peace and happiness as a result of spreading both positivity and a positive mindset to others. This in turn, influences and shapes performance and how we approach the craft of acting, while creating emotional truth and integrity within one's craft.

For my Barrett Honors creative project, I performed George Brant's emotionally gripping and timely one-woman play entitled "Grounded" which tells the story of a fighter pilot who was recommissioned to fly drones after becoming pregnant. The effects of the demanding routine of a drone pilot are masterfully captured as the pilot endures a decline in psychological state caused by the daily circumstances of a pilot fighting in drone warfare. In addition to the performance, I kept a written journal on which I have reflected and summarized in my thesis. The creative project has indeed been one of my most challenging, yet rewarding experiences in performance thus far. With the incredible guidance of Micha Espinosa and Jennifer Linde, I was able to achieve a feat of memorizing and performing an hour and ten minute play that really tested my capacity as an actor. It expanded my skill set as an actor and allowed me to play a female role that escapes the "ingenue role" that I have been cast as constantly in my performance career. I have divided my reflection journal into four separate sections: Statement of Purpose, Background Information on Drone Warfare, Character Development and Methodological Process, Performance Reflection and "Talk-Back." These sections guide the reader through my development from the beginning of the process all the way to final performance.

In modern music and theater education, there is a lack of basic understanding for the "rhythm" aspect in artistic performance. Through my upbringing in musical theater and the a cappella music world in my community, I realized there was an opportunity to fill the gap with teaching beatboxing. By applying vocal percussion to a theater or music curriculum, it would provide a new, creative outlet for young artists by allowing them to explore their capabilities in artistic performance as well as help them flex new muscles for diction and expression training. I created a vocal percussion "language", a basic notation system that would help students learn and retain their beatboxing training through an extra layer of communication and memorization. I conducted a two day Vocal Percussion Seminar where artists could come and learn about the history and origins of beatboxing, the basic sounds in beatboxing, proper warm-ups for building an individual's skills, how to write and practice vocal percussion notation, and practice vocal percussion performance with beatboxing technology. I created two worksheets as visual aids the workshop: A "Sounds of Beatboxing" worksheet identifying where certain beatboxing sounds occur in the mouth and a "Vocal Percussion Notation" worksheet that can be used as a visual aid for crafting and practicing beatboxing according to the notation guidelines. The intention of this seminar is to be a "Phase One", a version that can be updated and changed for future evolution in education styles and beatboxing knowledge. Despite challenges in attendance and circumstances, "Phase One" of the seminar was a success. In my final paper, I discuss my inspiration for the seminar, the rise of beatboxing's presence in theater, the trends of language and rhythm in artistic performance, the tools behind beatboxing, the application of the International Phonetic Alphabet and Knight-Thompson Speechwork, the workshop's development process, the results of the first phase of the seminar, my plan of action for the seminar's future. Everyone has the tools to generate a powerful and impactful performance, but it is how you use the tools to craft your final product.

The title means nothing because the stories have little in common, aside from the fact that I wrote them. The common theme of anxiety was unintentional, though it is prevalent in the stories, poetry and my life. Each story is written from a different style, with a different interest in mind. The poetry that breaks up the stories is mine, and also free of common bonds. People whom I love inspired some of them; others stem from people with whom I was (or still am) angry. Some of them are just me trying to write poetry like other successful poets, who seem to know something I don't. I wrote this set of stories and poems because I wanted to see if I could do it. I wanted to challenge myself in a new medium (two new mediums really, if you separate literature and poetry). I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, if I really set my mind to it. I wanted to have some wealth of words, which I could record myself reading. Overall, I hope that you enjoy these stories and words. I wrote them to entertain myself, and they seem to do that pretty well. If you don't like them, stop reading. If you do like them, keep reading and tell everyone you know about this collection. I'm proud of my work here, so anything beyond that is icing on my cake.