Befriending Suffering: Re-Imagining the Patient-Doctor Relationship

Techno-scientific thinking, which has become firmly grounded in modern medicine, moves towards reifying medicine as a science, losing all aspects of what it means to heal beyond curing a patient’s physical malady. A blueprint has been made on how best to interact with patients, a formulaic way of approaching medicine that seeks to get to the bottom of the patient’s biological disease. But this blueprint is the very reason doctors and patients misrecognize the potential befriending suffering has to heal the psychological dis-ease the patient feels when confronted by suffering. Thus, the process of treating patients is in need of reform. To do this, we must recover the dimension of depth that has been seemingly lost in the medical field. Doctors and patients alike should be critical of this systematic way of thinking about the doctor-patient relationship, a way of thinking that has far more implications than typically recognized. Science itself is not the problem; rather, it is thinking that says science is the only way one ought to approach and understand medicine and the only way to cure patients when there is much more to healing than curing.
In befriending suffering, one has the opportunity to re-understand herself and reorient herself to the world. Through dialogue, one can befriend her suffering and attempt to hear what it might be saying to her. Furthermore, by being a virtuous friend to her suffering, being one who is sincere, reverent, tender, and effortful, one can discover the generative aspects of suffering. By turning toward suffering together, the doctor and patient can connect in a way that better helps them understand themselves and each other. By understanding themselves and their individual suffering, each has the possibility of becoming a more authentic person and living more meaningfully in their daily lives. In understanding each other, the doctor has the potential to heal her patients—and patients, one could say, have the potential to heal their doctors as well. To do this, both must enter into conversation openly and with the virtues of friendship in mind. It may be difficult, but each one’s worldview might expand and new insights gleaned. By coming together, each has the possibility of living better individually.